Life

Well this is my first post. Sometimes there are just certain things in life you feel you can't exactly share with people, because well you are just afraid of who you may hurt. Well I also know that I can't always keep things bottled up inside. I do keep a diary, but well it's the modern world computers are everything =) Everybody has issues in their life, but well not everyone likes to admit to them, while others can't get enough from sharing their problems. Personally I am a very introverted person I know that sometimes we should keep our skeletons in our closets, but by bottling everything up inside eventually everyone will snap. See my problems aren't exactly about money or education, because well i can't complain, but my main problem is that I can't find true love or even anything close. Whenever a great guy comes into my life and is interested in me, well I find a way to push them out. I think I am scared of committment and well many people may have this issue too. But well I am just realizing I have it. My life has been changing drastically over the past week. I have come to realize a lot about myself, and it is almost scary to admit it. I know that I should just take chances on realationships and see where they end up, but well it is much easier said then done. In my life things are not just black and white, everything has consequences and everything has a reaction. I know that when I do start dating a guy I will always find something wrong with him and I will push him out of my life. And it is only when he is gone that I even realize what I have lost. I don't even know why I feel the need to make this post, but I guess it is a place to get things off my chest and to just defuse.